waiting

Have you ever sold a house before?  We have been in the process of selling a house we no longer live in. We found interested buyers on our own. We stayed this process in early March.  Lawyers. Paperwork. Contracts. March, people!  The lawyers created a close date of June 4th. I loved this date. I marked it on my calendar with a big smiley face. My birthday comes shortly after that as well.  I was soooo excited. I thought I'd have a debt free birthday. I was going to celebrate. The sale of this house would be such a game changer for us.
But.
Here.
I.
Am.
And we have yet to close on the sale of this house. It. Kills. Me. And because we know the buyers, we also know that it is indeed our lawyers who are holding this up. Forgetting us. Stalling. It makes me sick. That they don't care they are messing with real people's lives. It doesn't matter to them how much we need to sell this house. How being debt free will be such a game changer for us. We are a one income family! This is huge. This is private school for my kids because we live in an oversized failing school district. This is a new vehicle because ours is dying one part at a time. This is not wishing paycheck Thursdays come faster. And most importantly, this will make it so we can share our blessings so much more. I can't tell you how many times we have seen a need arise for a friend,  and not been able to meet their need. We will now be able to help more freely. That, and after what a terrible spring we had, that June 4th day, that was like my Rainbow. My assurance that things will be okay, things still work together. Sometimes I want to scream! August is here and I haven't closed yet!  School starts in weeks!  I find myself begging God to intervene. Asking him why he's so silent.  I know there are much bigger things. Many worse trials people are going through now. Heck, I still can't speak of our trial from this spring. My breath catches, my chest still hurts when I think about it... and is not something that just ends, we are still working through it, it will always effect us. But this sale, this is me just wanting one thing to go right. One thing to point to and say... That was a blessing. A reassurance. Perhaps God's trying to teach me. The lesson that I don't want. That if nothing else good happens in my life,  He is still enough. That I don't "need" this house to sell like I think I do. That I need Him. Just Him. He will be enough. But I'm human, and I'm sure my response is wrong, because I keep telling Him,  I just need this, God. I just need this one thing....
Will you pray for me? To find what God is testing me in... and for my house to sell?

Numbers

8 - the number of shoes, that belong to my little lady, that are missing their mate.

3 - the number of times my 5 yr old son has changed his outfit -in the last hour. Prayers appreciated.

1- the number of puppies it takes to make me regret getting a puppy.

2 - the number of hours I spent shuffling kids back and forth from the firehall festival - in the rain.

4 - the number of children I have that will be in bed by 8.

The
End

'Loneness

My oldest son often states that he needs "loneness". Usually, he needs this loneness with my husband or I. But sometimes he just wanders off to some corner of the yard and insists we keep the other minions from following him.
It took me a while, but I find myself letting him venture off more than I used to. I used to tell him to try and play with his siblings, or stay where I could hear him, or that kind of thing. But I've found that he needs that time away from everyone to recharge, and gather his (often very serious for his age) thoughts.
Now, my 7 year old knows he needs this, and yet it's taken me years to learn that I need this. Even longer to implement a plan to get some "loneness."
The older I get and the more children I have seems to make this alone time all the more essential. Also, I had to struggle to release the guilt of making time to have time to myself. Oh yes, I would feel terrible guilty, especially if I hired a babysitter so I could go grocery shopping, get a coffee, and plan my week, all without kids climbing all over me and sneaking goodies into my cart.
Now I wish I could get a sitter to takemy kids away from my home, ya know, so I could get my floors mopped twice a year. Unlikely, I know.
So here I go, setting my alarm at 6 am. I know, for some of you, that would be sleeping in. Bare with me people. (Or is it bear with me? I'm not sure we covered that in grammar school. And I have no ambition to google it either, folks.)
Sometimes, I manage to get up at 6, sometimes not. But I have definately found that mornings, if not complete days, go better on 6am mornings.
So there's that. 6am loness for mom.
And I'm trying to eat less sugar and bread like objects.
The first morning I got up at 6 and ate well, my body was in complete mutiny.
More on that another time.

the dentist

What exactly is the deal with the dentist?  I have never had a cavity and still I hate going. I am terrible about it. I went just recently and found that I do have my first cavity and I also need all four of my wisdom teeth removed.
So.
Stinkin'.
Scared.
So I've fromulated a plan. Yup. I will not be awake for my wisdom teeth removal, and therefore, I will have my cavity taken care of at the same time. That's right. I'll never know the sound of that dreaded drill.
I also hope that this aids in my weight loss, as I am a real wuss about pain, and doubt I'll eat any solid food for a week.
Smoothie week, here I come.
Well, at some point soon.
I'm still procrastinating making the appointment for all that work.

true stories

Can I tell you a story about my son?
 This boy child that God gave me.
 He colored himself purple with a marker one night.
 One crayola marker.
 His.whole.body.purple. And I don't care about the claims, they aren't very washable,  at least not off skin. I never knew that I'd have to tell my son: "son, it's not appropriate to color your.whole.self.purple!" Why are there no books out there for moms that say things like this? That you might enounter boys doing things like that? !

For good measure, another son story:
Ok, we all know boys like to pee outside. (If you didn't know this, sorry, but all boys like to pee outside.) And we know if one boy does, all the other boys around will have to as well. What never occured to me is that I might hear: "Let's make our pee sword fight!" Coming from the mouth of one of my boys.
 What?!
 To all you who advised me to have them so close together... that pee  story is for you. This is the shenanigans you get from having 2 boys 18 months apart. Good grief.
I can't make these stories up people. This is my life.

a new voice

It's hard to imagine that I'd start writing again but I guess I find it hard not to.  So very much has changed, me a mama to 4 children,  and still running a business. Crazy. And so very much to write about.I am working on cherishing every minute. And I hope to record the best of those moments here.