waiting

Have you ever sold a house before?  We have been in the process of selling a house we no longer live in. We found interested buyers on our own. We stayed this process in early March.  Lawyers. Paperwork. Contracts. March, people!  The lawyers created a close date of June 4th. I loved this date. I marked it on my calendar with a big smiley face. My birthday comes shortly after that as well.  I was soooo excited. I thought I'd have a debt free birthday. I was going to celebrate. The sale of this house would be such a game changer for us.
But.
Here.
I.
Am.
And we have yet to close on the sale of this house. It. Kills. Me. And because we know the buyers, we also know that it is indeed our lawyers who are holding this up. Forgetting us. Stalling. It makes me sick. That they don't care they are messing with real people's lives. It doesn't matter to them how much we need to sell this house. How being debt free will be such a game changer for us. We are a one income family! This is huge. This is private school for my kids because we live in an oversized failing school district. This is a new vehicle because ours is dying one part at a time. This is not wishing paycheck Thursdays come faster. And most importantly, this will make it so we can share our blessings so much more. I can't tell you how many times we have seen a need arise for a friend,  and not been able to meet their need. We will now be able to help more freely. That, and after what a terrible spring we had, that June 4th day, that was like my Rainbow. My assurance that things will be okay, things still work together. Sometimes I want to scream! August is here and I haven't closed yet!  School starts in weeks!  I find myself begging God to intervene. Asking him why he's so silent.  I know there are much bigger things. Many worse trials people are going through now. Heck, I still can't speak of our trial from this spring. My breath catches, my chest still hurts when I think about it... and is not something that just ends, we are still working through it, it will always effect us. But this sale, this is me just wanting one thing to go right. One thing to point to and say... That was a blessing. A reassurance. Perhaps God's trying to teach me. The lesson that I don't want. That if nothing else good happens in my life,  He is still enough. That I don't "need" this house to sell like I think I do. That I need Him. Just Him. He will be enough. But I'm human, and I'm sure my response is wrong, because I keep telling Him,  I just need this, God. I just need this one thing....
Will you pray for me? To find what God is testing me in... and for my house to sell?